I Went On a Dating App and Found…

Okay, so I know the name of this post takes a little poetic license and a little imagination. Work with me, y’all! I swear it will be worth it! Let me tell you something interesting.

Two weeks ago I went on a dating app. Now, if you’ve read any of my other posts, like this one, you probably have your head in the palm of your hands at this point. And it’s early in this post. You would know that I get antsy and anxious on dating apps. I mean, these men always leave me hanging on by a thread, feeling desperate for their attention, telling myself stories of worthlessness and anger.

So, you can see, this was a bold move. It’s almost like self-sabotage. Except, this time, I really felt good about it. Like, I went on with an attitude of, “You can’t win if you don’t play.” You won’t know what’s out there if you don’t look. And “yes,” I told myself, “I could fail. But, maybe, baby,  I could fly.” After all, I just went to the casino with this attitude. If I trust my money this way, I need to trust my love life like this!

And also, you know what? I’m a damn cool woman! While my ultimate worth is found in Christ, I do have a lot to offer the right man on this earth. I’m extremely giving, compassionate, and adventurous. Sometimes it takes a realization that we ARE worthy of love, not through the eyes of some man we might hope to meet on the internet, but intrinsically and unwaveringly. BAM. Believe it.

Do you feel that? That relief when you read those words? When you internalize that? You are so worthy and valuable without dependence on circumstances and the opinion of others. Savor it!

Ok, so, I came to this dating app from all the healthy angles. From a place of self love, a place of openness, and a place of trusting that God placed the stars in the sky to align in just the right way. Just for me. Some days, truly, just for me. 

I promise you, wearing this confidence like a dress, WORKED. I got a great reception on the site. I even met a really, stand-out sweet guy, who I will not name in this post! Let’s just call him Love Bug, because this makes sense right now and feels nice!

So, I choose my words about Love Bug very carefully. He is a spoonful of sugar when I’ve been taking medicine my entire life. And he is a stand-out. And he keeps me present. If nothing else happens with this relationship after today, I have this present moment. I have what we have now. 

And I am joyful now. And I trust now. And I am steeped in honesty and truth now. If the stars never align just for me again, I have this moment to remember that they did in Pisces season of 2023. Sounds a little woo woo, but I mean it. 

This Love Bug shows me that it’s okay to leap sometimes. Even if it has not worked out before, you can still take the leap. What’s the best that can happen?

I am driving 45 minutes south today to go see him today. We are going to watch the sunset at a park near his house. I picked out a new dress. I’ll wear it with the same confidence that drew us together.

I will not bring expectations or reservations to this moment. I will just be open and allow God to do what He does best.

Maybe you can find some place for this in your life today. Space for you to just be. To come to a situation or a relationship with no expectations or reservations/hesitations. Just let God anoint the situation as He sees fit. It’s your job to show up–God’s job to move. 

Try and see.

I would say things are going Swimmingly Well.

Until next time,

Joy